Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 60370 times)

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #30 on: Apr 17, 2017, 08:58:47 AM »
 ;D ;D  clever.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Grumpyfrog

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #31 on: Apr 17, 2017, 09:50:22 AM »
Ladies, don't forget the jumble sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
I have discovered that I am the same age as old people

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #32 on: Apr 17, 2017, 12:49:12 PM »
Vacancy for village Blacksmith, must be used to handling hot stuff.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #33 on: Apr 17, 2017, 03:19:00 PM »
Mr Snaith our M.P. apologises as there will not be any formal invitations sent out for the Sale of Work, because he has not done any this year.

zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #34 on: Apr 17, 2017, 04:07:34 PM »
The Village Chess Society will meet on Wednesday at 8pm.


Invited guest Mr Ivan Smersh will give a mating demonstration..
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #35 on: Apr 17, 2017, 08:26:39 PM »
The Village Chess Society will meet on Wednesday at 8pm.


Invited guest Mr Ivan Smersh will give a mating demonstration..

He will have a large model laid out on the table.

zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #36 on: Apr 17, 2017, 08:30:57 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #37 on: Apr 17, 2017, 08:35:20 PM »
I think the chess club might be popular this week!

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #38 on: Apr 18, 2017, 08:54:10 AM »
Following complaints about the vicar's housekeeper wearing a very short mini-skirt, the revd. has agreed to raise it at the next parish council meeting.

Grumpyfrog

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #39 on: Apr 18, 2017, 09:34:59 AM »
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
I have discovered that I am the same age as old people

zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #40 on: Apr 18, 2017, 10:20:06 AM »
Miss Hartibeast is selling her beautiful wedding dress and welcomes enquiries. As new, never worn.
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #41 on: Apr 18, 2017, 08:23:13 PM »
The Village Dentist's wife, Mrs Trotter, will be making tarts and flans again for the Sale of Work, with a variety of fillings in them.

Grumpyfrog

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #42 on: Apr 18, 2017, 08:40:29 PM »
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the Church Hall.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
I have discovered that I am the same age as old people

zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #43 on: Apr 18, 2017, 08:55:25 PM »
We're happy to announce the forthcoming marriage of Henry Pickleton and Hortense Malady, thus ending a wonderful friendship they've shared since Primary School.
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #44 on: Apr 18, 2017, 09:02:27 PM »
The Village Apathy Group has cancelled its meetings until further notice.