Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 60364 times)

Grumpyfrog

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #330 on: Nov 22, 2017, 01:48:03 PM »
...which means the line dancing class has lost its teacher.


However she has become something of an expert in left turning ballet pirouettes.

I have discovered that I am the same age as old people

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #331 on: Nov 22, 2017, 01:52:54 PM »
and regularly makes appearances on top of musical boxes.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Grumpyfrog

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #332 on: Nov 22, 2017, 01:54:56 PM »
and regularly makes appearances on top of musical boxes.


In a tutu borrowed from Grumpy.
I have discovered that I am the same age as old people

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #333 on: Nov 22, 2017, 04:27:29 PM »
butchers boy mugged by vegan vigilantes
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #334 on: Nov 22, 2017, 05:30:09 PM »
Workers draining the Village Pond have found a box, a lid, a handle, a pair of hinges and a pair of catches. Police are trying to put together a case.

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #335 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:01:08 PM »
The word BUDGET engraved on the case lead the police to believe a suicide has taken place .
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #336 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:31:54 PM »
police are still at the pond
their sat nav has gone dicky so they cant find their way back to station
ambulances on standby
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #337 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:42:42 PM »
Police got excited when they saw heads pop up out of the water .. Only to find it was the local synchronised swimming group practicing.
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #338 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:45:35 PM »
...the conga.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #339 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:46:44 PM »
The Vicar explained, "That would be the Village Ladies Swimming Club, I do my best to get more young ladies in the club but very few want to take the plunge."

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #340 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:47:21 PM »
or their version of the conger
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #341 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:52:03 PM »
For their weekly entertainment the villagers would gather at the grocery store to watch the bacon slicer.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #342 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:53:57 PM »
visitors were invited to try the special seat, by the slicer
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #343 on: Nov 22, 2017, 06:56:55 PM »
It was the forerunner of Weight Watchers.
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #344 on: Nov 23, 2017, 09:46:21 AM »
Due to the high number of visitors, the Village store has been getting a little behind with their orders.