Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 6055 times)

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #540 on: Dec 06, 2017, 06:55:54 PM »
"May contain nuts"
Chairman, Campaign Against Organisations with Pointless Abbreviated Titles (COWPAT)

I'm not paying 5p for that little bag, put the stuff in my hat

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #541 on: Dec 06, 2017, 06:57:18 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ...class
one memory is worth a thousand dreams

zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #542 on: Dec 06, 2017, 09:32:11 PM »
                          Rev Spooner would like to remind parishioners that bringing                         

                       their own collection plates to Mass is forbidden.
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minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #543 on: Dec 06, 2017, 09:40:25 PM »
Bringing their own wine however will be tolerated.  Please hand over to the Priest for safekeeping.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

Tessywizz

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #544 on: Dec 07, 2017, 06:54:34 AM »
The police carried out door to door equiries today regarding a large haul of weapons and drugs found behind the library. Most residents were totally shocked at this revelation as they never realised we had a library.

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #545 on: Dec 07, 2017, 09:40:27 AM »



Because of the bust Wally Evans and Mickey Pearce  were arrested for plotting a takeover of the local Ladies Pole Dancers.They intended to hold them up and get them high.
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #546 on: Dec 07, 2017, 10:01:32 AM »
the Kray Twins have been arrested
for knocking doors and not running away
one memory is worth a thousand dreams

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #547 on: Dec 07, 2017, 10:14:57 AM »



 McVitie  'The Hat' was found hanging from a peg in the ladies changing rooms.
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #548 on: Dec 07, 2017, 10:16:59 AM »
so which Kray used the ladies
was it Ronnie...or Reggie?
one memory is worth a thousand dreams

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #549 on: Dec 07, 2017, 10:24:29 AM »



Ronnie shot and killed George Cornwell in the Blind Beggar pub because he called him a 'poof'
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #550 on: Dec 07, 2017, 10:27:18 AM »
so Reggie is wanted for hanging around the ladies with Jack [the biscuit] Mcvitie
one memory is worth a thousand dreams

minniemouse

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #551 on: Dec 07, 2017, 11:40:56 AM »
very funny everybody, made my day. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #552 on: Dec 07, 2017, 11:44:29 AM »

                     
                        Learn how to hang your Christmas balls from the tree.
 Lessons in hanging and knot tying ran by Albert Pierrepoint are asking for members. Please bring enough rope..
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #553 on: Dec 07, 2017, 11:48:02 AM »
gggrrr i cant remember the name of his pub... the jolly beggar or summit
one memory is worth a thousand dreams

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #554 on: Dec 07, 2017, 11:52:22 AM »
gggrrr i cant remember the name of his pub... the jolly beggar or summit


are you winding me up.?  I already said  The Blind Beggar... OR . Do I need a catch-up tablet.!!
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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