Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 17316 times)

Ashy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17963
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #765 on: Mar 09, 2019, 10:24:53 AM »
The Village Chamber of Commerce has sought to re-assure villagers regarding the rumours of a shortage of baked beans, and fears of a wave of panic buying. Villagers have been asked not to get the wind up.
LEAVE MEANS LEAVE

fortyone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13223
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #766 on: Mar 09, 2019, 10:50:33 AM »
Meanwhile another group suspected of hoarding are having their cars converted to run on natural gas.

When democracy fails the people choose alternate means. These are rarely pretty.

Scrumpy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15537
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #767 on: Mar 09, 2019, 12:38:39 PM »



Morning runners had another meaning after being affected by the baked beans panic..  There was a queue at the bucket...
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


[email protected]

minniemouse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8767
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #768 on: Mar 09, 2019, 07:05:44 PM »
......which was situated next to the allotments..
I saw an ad for burial plots.  I thought to myself, "this is the last thing I need".

Audrine

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 429
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #769 on: Mar 09, 2019, 07:52:43 PM »
So clever all of you, I wish I could add something. I had lots of chuckles with most of them. Cheers Audrine

crabbyob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11416
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #770 on: Mar 13, 2019, 06:36:41 AM »
the vicar is running the annual trip to the lunatic asylum where we generally stand for hours looking in the windows at folks looking out the windows... it is not clear how much they pay to look at us...
every hill has a down side

Alfred

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3807
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #771 on: Mar 13, 2019, 08:15:25 AM »
after giving it some serious thought the vicar decided to take coach loads down to the houses of parliament to see  how  politicians react when others are looking at them, that is until,

Scrumpy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15537
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #772 on: Mar 13, 2019, 08:26:06 AM »



The weather turned nasty on the Lunatic Asylum trip and our 'Watchers' got cold and wet.


 Meanwhile,  the residents looking out the windows were enjoying a cup of tea and a slice of fruit cake.
« Last Edit: Mar 13, 2019, 01:10:27 PM by Scrumpy »
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


[email protected]

Alfred

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3807
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #773 on: Mar 13, 2019, 12:03:01 PM »
seeing an amorous couple frolicking behind some bushes, apparently it appears that one of them had lost a mobile phone ,well that was their excuse mean while ,

fortyone

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13223
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #774 on: Mar 13, 2019, 01:14:56 PM »
The editor of the village magazine has started receiving loads of emails forwarded to him. It seems most originated from [email protected] although one was about Easter being cancelled. He asks for the culprit(s) to please desist.

When democracy fails the people choose alternate means. These are rarely pretty.

crabbyob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11416
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #775 on: Mar 14, 2019, 01:42:04 PM »
our Polish residents have packed up and left
because the easter egg factory closed because
of a rumour started by the usual suspect
who was not available for comment as the lunatic asylum had retained him... ;D
every hill has a down side

minniemouse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8767
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #776 on: Mar 14, 2019, 05:25:36 PM »
The cake shop will not be selling biscuits in future due to crumbling sales.
I saw an ad for burial plots.  I thought to myself, "this is the last thing I need".

Ashy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17963
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #777 on: Mar 14, 2019, 05:52:49 PM »
 :) :) :) :) ;D

The Village Tax and Revenue office will be holding a bring and buy sale on Tuesday. V.A.T. on home made jam will be waived for the duration.
LEAVE MEANS LEAVE

minniemouse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8767
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #778 on: Mar 14, 2019, 05:55:04 PM »
Brian went back to the Vet with his dalmation to complain the spot cream didn't work.
I saw an ad for burial plots.  I thought to myself, "this is the last thing I need".

Ashy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17963
Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #779 on: Mar 14, 2019, 05:57:24 PM »
 :) :) :) :) :)
LEAVE MEANS LEAVE