Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 60358 times)

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #870 on: Oct 01, 2019, 05:11:51 PM »
The Village Cafe is currently closed for re stocking.

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #871 on: Oct 01, 2019, 06:47:57 PM »
can the cafe stock some nylons as well as lyles
for the more refined among us
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #872 on: Oct 01, 2019, 06:51:05 PM »



Tell Aggie your size crabby..
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #873 on: Oct 01, 2019, 07:00:01 PM »
modesty forbids.. :o
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #874 on: Oct 09, 2019, 12:50:45 PM »



  The village doctors surgery is open for flu jabs.


  Over 70 ... 8.00 til 12 noon
 Under 70.. 1.00 til 3.00
  Female only.. 3.00 til 6.00
Male only.. 6.30 til til 8.00
  Not sure... Time to be arranged.
 Mixed sex.. Phone Dolores 342578 anytime.
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

Floydian

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #875 on: Oct 09, 2019, 03:56:25 PM »
The village morris dancing team are now looking to recruit under 18's, please contact the organiser if you wish to be a morris minor...
"Unbelievable, Jeff...."

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #876 on: Oct 09, 2019, 04:30:51 PM »
COURT NEWS

Mr G. Gnerr, the Village miller, is seeking an injunction to prevent the Rose and Crown from closing for a few days in October. The publican, Mr J. Boreham-Stiffe, has announced that he will be attending the annual Publicans' and Brewers' conference in Birmingham, and will be closing his pub for the duration.

In his opening remarks, counsel for the miller stated that the publican was closing his pub in order to prevent the county dominoes final and Bean Feast from taking place.


The case continues.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #877 on: Oct 10, 2019, 06:26:29 AM »
Mr Whyte-Poudre, the Village pharmacist, has had to re-word the sign outside his shop which said, "Please use the seating area provided for your convenience". It will now say "Wait Here". He says it will save having to wash it down several times a day.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #878 on: Nov 08, 2019, 03:15:46 PM »
The village wool shop has a special offer this week. 50p off a pack of Self Threading Needles, ideal for elderly and blind people, with gold eyes.

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #879 on: Nov 09, 2019, 09:01:38 AM »



Last night the X was stolen from the  Ex- Service Men's Club  Polling Station.


 Please return.. It is needed for the forthcoming election.
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #880 on: Nov 09, 2019, 10:02:47 AM »
The Village Charity Shop was pleased to receive some carpentry tools, for example a nearly new hammer from a gentleman with a one pound head and claw.

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #881 on: Nov 09, 2019, 11:16:55 AM »



.. and Doris from the social club is offering free screws..
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #882 on: Nov 09, 2019, 11:24:36 AM »
I'll settle for the one pound head. After all it is all for charity. :) :) :o

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #883 on: Nov 09, 2019, 07:40:10 PM »
PUB NEWSThe licensee at the Sword and Plank public house reports that a charity collecting box was taken from the bar. Police are looking for a man with two dogs whom they believe can help them with their enquiries.

Alex22

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #884 on: Nov 09, 2019, 07:45:43 PM »
That made me chuckle  ;D ;D ;D
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