Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 25072 times)

Ode Iron

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #945 on: Mar 16, 2020, 02:45:00 AM »
A village local is apparently in disgrace..he was in the para- olympics and was recently tested for drug enhancements..alas he was tested positive for...WD40.

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #946 on: Mar 16, 2020, 05:12:49 AM »
bernard beer-belly was stopped at customs on his return from Goa
customs men confiscated his two suitcases of hand gell because of their alcoholic content
every hill has a down side, even Benny Hill

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #947 on: Mar 22, 2020, 11:16:57 AM »



Local postmistress and respected spinster Florence Primmer   passed over the weekly takings to a man wearing a mask.. She described him as 'evil looking' and thought he had something sinister in his pocket..


It turned out to be the local vicar protecting himself against the virus.
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #948 on: Mar 22, 2020, 11:26:48 AM »
The vicar of the Village church has announced a magnificent collection this morning.
Any surviving remainers have the rest of the transition period in 2020 to become rejoiners

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #949 on: Mar 23, 2020, 08:38:03 AM »
Ivor Virus refused to remove his mask at immigration last night for health reasons
so he was returned to Goa
every hill has a down side, even Benny Hill

Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #950 on: Mar 25, 2020, 10:33:12 AM »
The RSPCA was called to a remote bungalow at the edge of the Village, where they picked up a dog completely wrapped up in fly paper. They wanted to put him down but they just couldn't do it.
Any surviving remainers have the rest of the transition period in 2020 to become rejoiners

Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #951 on: Mar 25, 2020, 10:45:46 AM »



Because of the coronavirus the vicar at St Lukes will only allow two people in at any one time....  At a recent wedding he and the organist were the only people in the church..
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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zoony

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #952 on: Mar 25, 2020, 12:07:39 PM »
                                      LONELY HEARTS:


    Man with toilet rolls WLTM woman with hand sanitizer for good, clean fun..
" There ain't no Devil, it's jus' God when he's drunk.."

Tom Waites

Michael Rolls

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #953 on: Mar 25, 2020, 12:11:08 PM »


Because of the coronavirus the vicar at St Lukes will only allow two people in at any one time....  At a recent wedding he and the organist were the only people in the church..
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mike
The older I get, the better I was!

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #954 on: Mar 25, 2020, 12:15:02 PM »


Because of the coronavirus the vicar at St Lukes will only allow two people in at any one time....  At a recent wedding he and the organist were the only people in the church..


and because of this situation the lady organist has asked for a more detailed job description

every hill has a down side, even Benny Hill