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Author Topic: Village News - Please add yours  (Read 60638 times)

crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #960 on: Jul 04, 2020, 12:52:59 PM »
the Ramblers are no longer allowed to use walking sticks as several have been found floating in lane two
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #961 on: Jul 04, 2020, 12:54:02 PM »



Lifeguard required for pool..


A net will be available to rescue those in trouble practising the butterfly stroke.. A rope ladder for the ramblers who are stranded at the bottom of the deep end and an oxygen cylinder for the lightheaded who reach the peaks..
A decision has not been decided on how to assist the breaststrokers who have problems.
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #962 on: Jul 04, 2020, 12:59:24 PM »



If you find a floating rambler please do not rush to help as the sluice gates will be opened to flush away any debris..
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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #963 on: Jul 04, 2020, 01:07:55 PM »
the ramblers have been barred after their chairman Johnny Walker 'borrowed' the pools 'defribuliser' to help Wobbles Murphy, to complete the annual 100 yard stroll...
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #964 on: Jul 04, 2020, 01:14:29 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D


Thank you for making me giggle...
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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #965 on: Jul 04, 2020, 01:25:55 PM »
its my job ma'am.. ;D
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richmond62

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #966 on: Jul 04, 2020, 01:27:53 PM »
As the Bishop said to the actress.
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #967 on: Jul 04, 2020, 06:30:14 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #968 on: Jul 05, 2020, 11:10:35 AM »



Gossips are asking how spinster Fanny May  could be pregnant when social distancing is in force.


  Fingers are pointed at Grocer Alf Green who has been making home deliveries.
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crabbyob

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #969 on: Jul 05, 2020, 01:49:31 PM »
the same gossips have changed her name to Fanny Did !!!
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Ashy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #970 on: Jul 29, 2020, 10:14:23 AM »
The Vicar of the Village Church is pleased to announce that meetings of the Young Mothers Club will be restarting in August. Ladies who are already in the club will be very welcome. Ladies who would like to become young mothers should make an appointment with the Vicar as soon as possible.
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #971 on: Jul 29, 2020, 11:19:43 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D
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klondike

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #972 on: Jul 29, 2020, 11:51:13 AM »
Quote from: Scrumpy on Jul 29, 2020, 11:19:43 AM
;D ;D ;D
I'm guessing you made your appointment then Scrumpy.  :)
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Scrumpy

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #973 on: Jul 29, 2020, 12:52:33 PM »



Yeah!!   With the organ player... ;D
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klondike

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Re: Village News - Please add yours
« Reply #974 on: Jul 29, 2020, 02:26:42 PM »
I hear that the vicar is considering an appeal to restore his upright organ as it is now excessively worn.
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