Cancer

[Akbuk]

Had a few days away from here because of things going on. I am a longstanding member of another forum which relates mainly to Turkey.
A few days back I posted the following post, many people on that forum know me personally & have "been there, done that" type of thing

My post:

My brother

Such a bombshell yesterday & to be honest I cant really think of anything in my past that has hit me so hard.

A phone call from my older brother who asked me if I could come & see him? He only lives a couple of roads away from me, we are close in location and extremely close as brothers.

I knew by his voice that something serious was going on & my first thoughts were for his wife who beat breast cancer a few years back.........I went straight round to see him.

He has cancer. What he thought was an abscess from a tooth has now become life threatening even though neither of us are saying it.

The type of cancer is named but to be honest I was that shocked that the "name" just went straight over my head. Below his eye socket is swollen & his eye continuously weeps, he has lost food taste & concerns by the doctors seem to be aimed at the roof of his mouth.

Not sure of the details but tomorrow he's off to do a day in hospital where he has to drink some stuff & have an MRI scan. As said, I don't know the full SP but by all accounts once he drinks this stuff he will not be allowed contact with anyone for a good few hours.

The hit for me & I'm sure for him, neither of us could look each other in the eye for fear of BOTH of us breaking down.

One of the very rare occasions where I feel effing useless.

For you brother.

[Scrumpy]

Hi Akbuk
 My heart goes out to you and your brother .To live so close to one another must be a comfort to him.Cancer is a scary word and it seems to conjure up pain followed by death.. Great things have been done in research and more people live than die from the problem .
You have each other and nothing is more important than having someone who loves you around . My love to you .


Great choice of song .. one of the best ever written.

[StephenM123]

The process is absolutely nothing to worry about. My partner had it a couple of years ago. A mildly radioactive isotope is injected in the blood stream and the patient left for a few hours. I spent part of the time with her as the danger is minimal and most at risk are toddlers and unborn children. The patient then gets scanned and images are built up. Tumours retain more of the isotope and thus show more clearly. This allows the size and extent to be determined. Fortunately my partner's was found to be benign but she is checked annually. Hopefully it will show your brother's is treatable.

[minniemouse]

Sorry to hear that.  It is a fact more people survive cancer nowadays than die from it.  All you can do is stay positive and put your faith in the doctors.  I hope all goes well.

[Akbuk]

The best thing I can do is copy & paste my posts from the other forum, please appreciate that some posts might seem at bit confusing to people on here but quite a few posts are responses to people (like your good selves) who have shown concern. I will not put those posters responses on here but it will at least show you how things are going with my brother.

[Akbuk]

Post two.

The not looking into each others eyes & the handshakes says it all for me...............Neither of us know what to say or do & the fact that we are both positive people brings us (or certainly me) down with a bump.

Bloody families............I have another brother in Turkey & those pair haven't spoken for 10 years, last night I had a friend go to see him with a phone number. They passed my older brothers phone number to him & explained the situ, as yet no call. I swear if he doesn't call him & make things right I will be flying out to Turkey & it will not be for a holiday. There comes a time in all our lives when you just do the right thing, now is that time.
__________________
Spurs

[Akbuk]

Post three.

I do know that the cancers name started with "lymph" something or other & the swelling is in his cheek. I would like to know more but don't really want to press my brother to explain it again. I know there are nurses on here & some people who have gone through cancer issues, can anyone enlighten me as to what I can actually Google to get some info?

[Akbuk]

Post four.

At 6 am I phoned my brother, its been a very long time since I have seen 6 am. He answered immediately, I know he's not sleeping too well likewise nor am I.

Today is the start of these tests etc, I couldn't remember if I actually offered to go with him, turns out I had. I was worried that he would be facing it on his own because his wife babysits in Exeter but like any good wife she is coming back to go with him.

My brother is not computer savvy, he doesn't even have a mobile phone.

I read the post to him that "Keith" posted on TLF, his attitude I think was that I was making it up to make him feel better. So by 6-30 am I was knocking on his door & took him right through this thread..........he left the room for 10 mins & came back "red-eyed", he now truly knows how I feel. The post from "Keith" has worked wonders for him & I mean that. Its not the light at the end of the tunnel for him, he's only just approaching that tunnel.

My brother has asked me to pass on his kind regards to people on TLF for their concerns & well wishes directed to him.

He will be phoning me tonight after he gets back from the hospital & I will put the details on here because it helps me & I think it may well help others.

[Akbuk]

Post five.

He just phoned me having had his first set of tests. He seems in good spirits, far better than what he was yesterday. He will be going into a small ward with eight beds, where all the eight are going through the same battle...............Game on for us all.

[Akbuk]

Post six.

We may knock the NHS BUT my brother has been dealt with rapidly. Dentist only last week referred him to Solihull Hospital, they in turn referred him to The Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham which is like the size of a town. All within a few days the NHS has shown how it comes together for him................ the cure WILL follow.

[Akbuk]

Post seven.

Update.

Firstly, brothers are now in contact............so thats good news.

Yesterday whilst having the tests he had to turn his mobile off. Turned his phone back on four hours later once outside the hospital where there was a missed call & voice mail............bed available. Walked back into the hospital but within those four hours between the missed call the bed had gone. He's still upbeat & now back to phoning every morning. I think there might have been a bit of relief that the bed had gone.

Hospital admin just might have realised he was on the premises so to speak.

[zoony]

Hi Akbuk. I imagine that your brother is feeling somewhat lost just as you are. I know you know him well but I suggest that you have a conversation very soon as I believe he'll be aching to talk to someone and who better than you? Bad situations call for more than one head.
 Above is some good advice and the last thing he needs from you is more negativity. Pass along what's been said and, for your own research, get that diagnosis right.
                                                                               My best wishes too you both.

[Akbuk]

There are a few more posts to come & you will see how things have moved on .....I will be back tomorrow to add more. In the meantime, I thank you all for your comments.

[StephenM123]

It sounds like it might be primary non-Hodgkins lymphoma of the oral cavity. The outlook for this type of cancer is pretty good. Obviously I may be incorrect but it may trigger something from your conversation with your brother.

[brian54]

My wife died of cancer. People think I help CRUK because of my wife but she started doing Race for Life well before she knew about the cancer.
I had Cancer of the Bladder but it was caught at a very early stage and the operation was a 100% success.
I was checked 3 monthly to start for about 15 months then the rules were changed to 6 months and then annually as nobody was relapsing.
I got to 4 years 10 months and 2 weeks and the doctor said the doctor said he could have me back for a check in 6 weeks or I could come back in a year.
I chose to come back a year later.
All was still clear so I was discharged to the relief of my 2 daughters.