Author Topic: Can you guess the censored words?  (Read 835 times)

zoony

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Can you guess the censored words?
« on: Oct 21, 2017, 05:30:31 PM »
                                         An Italian’s Tale


I’ma come here to a hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waiter I wanna two [censored] toast. He bringa me only onea [censored]. I tella him I wanna two [censored]--he say, “Go to the toilet.” I say, “You no unnerstan’. I wanna two [censored] ona my plate.” He say, “You better no [censored] ona da plate you sonna ma bitch.” I don’t even know the man and he calla me sonna ma bitch!!
Later, I go to eata soma dinner at another restaurant. The waitress bringa spoon, ana knife, but no fock. I say, “I wanna fock.” She tella me everbody wanna fock. I say, “You no unnerstan’. I wanna fock on the table.” She say, “You better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.” I don’t even know the woman an’ she calla me sonna ma bitch!
So I go back to my hotel, an’ there’s no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager an’ tell him I wanna sheet on the bed. He say, “You better not sheet on the bed you sonna ma bitch.” I don’t even know the man an’ he calla me sonna ma bitch!
So I go to check out and the man at the desk, he say, “Peace to you.” I say, “[censored] onna you too you sonna ma bitch!!” I go back to Italy!


With apologies to Granny Moss..
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Scrumpy

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #1 on: Oct 21, 2017, 06:55:20 PM »



Is it [censored] ?
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

zoony

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #2 on: Oct 21, 2017, 07:49:01 PM »
No chuck, it's [censored]
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Scrumpy

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #3 on: Oct 22, 2017, 08:22:52 AM »
Oh blimey. I would never have guessed it was [censored] ..
I was enjoying trying to guess but now you've gone and told me ..
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

minniemouse

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #4 on: Oct 22, 2017, 05:54:14 PM »
Zoony/Scrumpy .........so funny, especially when you read it in an Italian accent!!
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

Undercover Pensioner

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #5 on: Oct 23, 2017, 05:30:08 PM »
Can I just say that this is why I don't join in these threads.  I don't understand it.  Do I actually need too or is it funny because I/we don't?   I have that bit of my brain missing! Help ;D
The vote for Brexit was a vote to take back what we hadn't lost in order to lose what we actually have.

minniemouse

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #6 on: Oct 23, 2017, 05:34:17 PM »
I don't understand some of your posts UP, my brain is simple, your brain is intellectual.  ;D
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

zoony

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #7 on: Oct 23, 2017, 05:45:41 PM »
Can I just say that this is why I don't join in these threads.  I don't understand it.  Do I actually need too or is it funny because I/we don't?   I have that bit of my brain missing! Help ;D


No UP, the fault is mine. Though I like silly humour as much as any other kind, it's not everybody's cuppa. ;)
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Undercover Pensioner

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #8 on: Oct 23, 2017, 06:00:58 PM »
I'm sure it is most people's cuppa zoony but now you know why I don't join in the jokey bits.  I am that friend you have to explain them to - by which time ... sorry ::)
The vote for Brexit was a vote to take back what we hadn't lost in order to lose what we actually have.

crabbyob

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #9 on: Oct 24, 2017, 05:43:35 AM »
but stilll....
you are a friend...
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Phil

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Re: Can you guess the censored words?
« Reply #10 on: Oct 24, 2017, 09:43:24 AM »
Can I just say that this is why I don't join in these threads.  I don't understand it.  Do I actually need too or is it funny because I/we don't?   I have that bit of my brain missing! Help ;D

Well to me this proves that you are not G49.

G49 had a great sense of humour & would have probably said that the censored word was 'piece', but pronounced 'p.iss' by an Italian.

I reckon she'd have found it so funny that she'd have embroidered it on one of her cushion covers.
"I've stopped arguing with idiots. They will only bring me down to their level and beat me with experience.”

Paraphrased from George Carlin