clever dick,

[Alfred]

Many years ago i worked in a garage service station, and one night a tramp a very big man walked through the garage, in one side and out the other, five minutes later he came back accompanied with a policeman , who was arresting him for being drunk,and disorderly,.


he told one of the staff to phone for a police van, shortly after, one arrived , the driver of the van got out and as soon as he saw the tramp he said to him let yourself in, to which the tramp happily climbed into the van, we were amazed, the policeman said  you obviously know him, the driver said yes he does this trick every week end, purposely so he will get arrested.


in those days people getting arrested over the week end were kept in police station cells, and as a result, automatically got a free breakfast on a Sunday morning, before appearing in court on the following Monday morning, the tramp was a clever dick he knew exactly what he was doing and did this on a regular basis, ......................it seemed bed and breakfast was to tempting to resist.,

[Grumpyfrog]

If he was really lucky he could have gone to prison and enjoyed 3 meals a day, a comfy bed, clean clothes, television, medical care, access to a gym, library, games room, no bills to pay ....................

[Scrumpy]

You could get one of your coach trips up Grumpy .. We could turn a motorway cafe over on the way ...

[Johned]

When my now retired son was in charge of the custody suite, he used to send one of the PCs out to buy those detained a take away or fish and chip supper before lockdown.

[Ashy]

He wouldn't do that in Venezuela.

[crabbyob]

i had a chef who got sentenced to 18 months..
he did about 10 and told me he had gone to sleep drunk every single night..
they had Sky Sports... and he won the snooker tournament, and got a Mars bar..
and got away from his wife for almost a year.... and this is a deterent?

[Ashy]

Ask any of the liberal woolly minded middle class do-gooders who influence these things and they will tell you it is not supposed to be a deterrent.

[Johned]

Many years ago our works bowls team played various local sides in the league; we also played an open prison team who were practically unbeatable.  When we visited them, they all seemed decent chaps and it was considered not quite the thing to discuss their "crimes."  One extrovert sort of chap did tell me however, that he had got three months for driving twice uninsured.  Since entering the system he had had the good fortune to have won £500 on the premium bonds.  He had used this windfall to pay for his wife to visit her relatives in South Africa; as he was an adept bowler, the Governor's fetish, he had immediately been drafted to the team who spent most of their days practising.  He said the food was good, the company most amenable and he was thoroughly enjoying life!  On a more serious level, during tea and sandwiches the Governor did tell us that you could go in there unable to read or write and if you put your mind to it, emerge in time with a university degree but not many did of course!  And yes, we lost against them as we invariably did so. 

[zoony]

Interesting story John but it doesn't sound like a max security joint. Being a woolly-headed, liberal-but-working-class do-gooder, I'm aware that different offences incur different prisons but as Ashy failed to explain, the punishment is deprivation of freedom. The full stop is my point.

[crabbyob]

the only thing that puts me off is the company
they swear an stuff

[Johned]

On one of our visits zoony, I recall one of the inmates said to me that two prisoners had escaped by just walking out of the gate.  The feeling among the others was that they must have been barmy as the punishment was return to the orthodox prison system and in their case, they were recaptured within a couple of hours.  That prison was originally 38 Coy RASC, then Ashwell Open Prison and currently an Oakham out of town shopping outlet.  What next?

[Ashy]

Why did they pick Oakham?

[crabbyob]

a few years ago i visited Doncatrz, i couldnt believe the level of security, i even had an eye scan... then the following week  Ali Khan was due to be released so Billy Khan did a deal with him and walked out... can you believe they scanned the visitors but not the prisoners... what a set of wallies... by the way its a private prison

[Johned]

Dunno Ashy.  Do you mean for the location of an army unit or the open prison?  The latter used to provide some local jobs which have now gone. There is another open prison a few miles distant at Stocken hall I think it is called. This is being currently enlarged on quite a grand scale and my wife's former GP has taken on an MO's job there.

[Phil]

Why did they pick Oakham?