Author Topic: Losing one's wife  (Read 5263 times)

GrannyMac

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #150 on: Apr 17, 2019, 02:19:30 PM »
I agree that in retrospect it may have been better but it would have been a terrible decision for them at the time.

Maybe they'd have been riddled with guilt & didn't want the finger-pointing "that's them who stuck their disable kid in a home" comments when they went to the shops etc.


Perhaps.  It wore the parents out, whereas seeing him settled and happy would probably have relieved them of a lot of stress.    Too many people worry about what others say about them. 
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

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un1corn

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #151 on: May 13, 2019, 09:58:25 AM »
My wife passed in 2010 after 46 years of marriage and although it was expected due to her ill health for many years, it was still sudden and a horrendous shock and it took me nearly 4 years to settle into a routine without her, I still miss her every/all day.
I think it is harder as being disabled I had to do many things for her that she was unable to do for herself.

sparky

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #152 on: May 13, 2019, 10:08:20 AM »
unicorn, Like yourself, my lovely  wife died, 2009, also with long term health problems, but the daily routine of caring for her and making sure she had all she needed and was comfortable was my reason to get out of bed every morning.   

Michael Rolls

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #153 on: May 13, 2019, 01:13:53 PM »
unicorn, Like yourself, my lovely  wife died, 2009, also with long term health problems, but the daily routine of caring for her and making sure she had all she needed and was comfortable was my reason to get out of bed every morning.
Mine too, really, and now without her, and my brother and sister and dog, all lost since January 2018, it is very hard to find a reason for even getting up - I do, because I feel it would be what Veonica would have wanted me to do - but it isn't really living - just existing
Mike
The older I get, the better I was!

un1corn

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #154 on: May 13, 2019, 03:38:57 PM »
Regrettably I have no family and therefor no one to call on when down, the only friends we had were Grace's friends and when she passed they all drifted away, I forego friendships years ago to care for my better half.

Alex22

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #155 on: May 13, 2019, 09:10:23 PM »
You'll find friends on here Uni  !  when you're feeling down just log on, there's usually someone loitering.  :)

Audrine

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #156 on: May 13, 2019, 11:33:32 PM »
Good advice Alex, Unicorn will always have friends on Pensioners who he can depend on. cheers Audrine.

Akbuk

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #157 on: May 18, 2019, 06:10:35 PM »

Regrettably I have no family and therefor no one to call on when down, the only friends we had were Grace's friends and when she passed they all drifted away, I forego friendships years ago to care for my better half.


You can call on me ANYTIME & I sincerely mean that fella. If you want my phone number just ask.
Reading some of the posts on here, I truly grasp how lucky I am. I would be totally lost without the other half & she's told me she would be lost without me.


What's gone missing in this great nation of ours is people taking the time to talk to others........everyone needs to be somewhere this day & age, no longer do you see people talking at their gates. 

Scrumpy

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #158 on: May 18, 2019, 07:08:55 PM »
Akbuk.. You are a great guy.
Don't think of a caterpillar dying..Think of a butterfly living.


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Sheila

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #159 on: May 19, 2019, 08:49:29 AM »
I have lived and worked in this area for a very long time but my husband moved here when we married and didn't know as many people as I do.  Then he started to play crown green bowls.  There are some very fit people in their eighties who still play.  When we go to the supermarket now he seems to know more people than I do and is constantly stopping for a chat.  They are a lovely, friendly bunch and I have been out for lunch with some of the ladies and we meet up at the pub for dinner with other members sometimes.
Everything I can't find is in a totally secure place.

Akbuk

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Re: Losing one's wife
« Reply #160 on: May 19, 2019, 04:01:12 PM »

Akbuk.. You are a great guy.


Not really Scrumpy, I like to think we all have that attitude, the older I've got the more caring I've become towards others.
It would be a poor show not to try & pull up someone who was down & feeling alone. Don't get me wrong, I don't work for Samaritans but a problem shared is a problem halved (so they say).
It took me a couple of years to grasp what my Father was going through when my Mother passed away. His life just ground to a halt. They went abroad twice a year, that just obviously stopped........I never even thought of that at the time.
When it clicked I walked into his house & said, "Dad get yourself sorted we fly out of the UK in five days, never mind where to, me & you are out of here". I still have the smile on his face in my head. He was a changed man after that holiday, never got back to his original self but he became a better fella for it.


Everyone has someone, whether that someone is family, friend or even a stranger, there's always someone.........even if we have to look for them, they're there.


My offer stands to anyone on here, nope I not going to meet anyone, nope I'm not bothered about colour, religion or worth. I just offer a voice.