Apparently north korea now has a missile that can hit new york, which is a bit scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere....
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The pot hole outside my house is now so big it took six council workers to watch the guy who came to fix it....
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My wife's just come into the bedroom and asked me if i could pull her dress off.
I don't have the stomach for it but my legs would look great!
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I wonder if my vets receptionist realises how many peoples passwords she knows?
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Four teens have been arrested for throwing eggs and flour at a homeless woman and filming her ordeal on their phones.
The victim is being comforted at the local hostel for battered women...
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I've just found out that the chippy in Sellafield has closed down. It's a shame, they used to serve a lovely leg of cod there....
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"The next song is about subtraction...."
"Take it away, boys....."
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My wife's left me because of my obsession with the beatles and gone to her sisters on the isle of wight.
She's got a ticket to Ryde...
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"I've just caught our 14 year old son looking up womens skirts" i told my neighbour.
"That's pretty normal for a boy his age," he laughed.
"Not on ebay it isn't" i replied...
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