Author Topic: Cornish Jokes  (Read 3978 times)

Devonian

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Cornish Jokes
« on: Mar 24, 2019, 09:55:59 PM »
Dennis Penberthy, an elderly Cornish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Penberthy.
"Well," said Penberthy, "there's the farm hand. I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle of gin every week, and, occasionally, gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's who I want to talk to," said the inspector, "the half-wit."
"That'll be me then," said Penberthy.

minniemouse

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #1 on: Mar 24, 2019, 10:00:04 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D 
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zoony

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #2 on: Mar 24, 2019, 11:12:30 PM »
A farmers joke-for-all-seasons I suspect. ;)
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Diasi

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #3 on: Mar 25, 2019, 06:59:37 AM »
Get on, that's funny as, & even people with Cornish ancestry will laugh at that one.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

Michael Rolls

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #4 on: Mar 25, 2019, 07:04:51 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mike
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The older I get, the better I was!

Devonian

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #5 on: Mar 25, 2019, 11:19:38 AM »
It was hay time and the top-heavy cart coming from the field had overturned in the lane. Its young driver looked at the fallen load in dismay.
"Cum in fer a dish o' tay", said a motherly soul to the boy as he stood there."We'll give 'e a 'and gettin' it right after. You'll feel more like loadin' again after a drink and a sit down."
"Faather won't like un," said the boy doubtfully.
"Faather won't knaw nowt 'bout un," said the woman comfortingly and led the boy, still reluctant, into the house to join her family.
Half an hour later, all emerged to view the situation, the lad thanking the lady but repeating that his father wouldn't like it at all.
"Rubbish," she said, "I'll deal with your faather. Where's 'e to?"
"Under the 'ay", said the boy.

fortyone

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #6 on: Mar 25, 2019, 01:01:25 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

Devonian

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #7 on: Mar 26, 2019, 08:30:52 AM »
Farmer to his wife,"When I parssed the barn Fred 'ad 'anged iself from a beam".
"Did 'ee cut'n down?" said the wife.
"No 'ee wad'n dead yet." said the farmer.

Scrumpy

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #8 on: Mar 26, 2019, 09:38:46 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

stellamaris

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #9 on: Mar 26, 2019, 07:23:45 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D  A laugh for all of them and two for the winner!!!
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Devonian

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #10 on: Mar 27, 2019, 09:17:14 AM »
 Countrywoman, for the first time seeing a train entering the tunnel not far from her home, "Twould be a real problem if the ole wad'n there".  

Scrumpy

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #11 on: Mar 27, 2019, 10:22:22 AM »
 ;D ;D
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

Diasi

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #12 on: Mar 27, 2019, 10:25:10 AM »
Countrywoman, for the first time seeing a train entering the tunnel not far from her home, "Twould be a real problem if the ole wad'n there".

I did wonder where the joke was leading when the woman saw the train entering the tunnel.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

Alex22

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #13 on: Mar 27, 2019, 01:52:49 PM »
Brilliant  !  ;D
 
.

Devonian

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Re: Cornish Jokes
« Reply #14 on: Mar 28, 2019, 08:45:45 AM »
"Ays, I always go to berrins," said an old fishwife from Penzance when asked if she was going to a neighbour's funeral. "'Tes like this, see, if you don't go the other folks berrins, they won't come to yourn."