Author Topic: Drive thru ATM  (Read 905 times)

crabbyob

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Drive thru ATM
« on: Mar 25, 2019, 01:27:36 PM »
Instructions for new drive through cash machines....Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts             
 Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:MALE PROCEDURE         
 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance parked from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

zoony

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #1 on: Mar 25, 2019, 01:43:45 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Sheila

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #2 on: Mar 25, 2019, 02:04:45 PM »
That was stupidly brave Crabby.  I'm sure Scrumpy will put you right.  ;D ;D

Diasi

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #3 on: Mar 25, 2019, 02:12:31 PM »
I don't understand why it's in the Jokes & Funnies section.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

fortyone

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #4 on: Mar 25, 2019, 02:17:13 PM »
saying nowt...

minniemouse

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #5 on: Mar 25, 2019, 04:34:45 PM »
Doesn't apply to me......I don't drive  ;D
Smoking kills you, bacon kills you, smoking bacon cures it.

zoony

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #6 on: Mar 25, 2019, 04:57:01 PM »
Doesn't apply to me......I don't drive  ;D


I can see why!   ;D
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Alex22

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #7 on: Mar 25, 2019, 05:23:06 PM »
I'd never use a drive thru cash machine, so that leaves me out   ;D
.

GrannyMac

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #8 on: Mar 25, 2019, 05:53:18 PM »
Yeah, yeah, yeah.  🚘 😅😄
Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.

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crabbyob

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #9 on: Mar 26, 2019, 02:59:51 AM »
after six months out of the county
i'm not sure if i might risk one
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as we are already here we may as well dance”

Scrumpy

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #10 on: Mar 26, 2019, 08:05:15 AM »



28.   Spend money.
29.   Visit ATM again.
30.    Give the old man his card back. And his beloved BMW.
Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, its not the end.

Diasi

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #11 on: Mar 26, 2019, 10:00:22 AM »
It just needs some practice.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

fortyone

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #12 on: Mar 26, 2019, 11:55:09 AM »
I think this one took "drive through" far too literally...

Diasi

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Re: Drive thru ATM
« Reply #13 on: Mar 26, 2019, 01:18:10 PM »
I don't think it's the driver's fault in my photo, some idiot put a waste bin in front of the ATM.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)