Author Topic: Today's groan  (Read 4431 times)

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #15 on: Apr 17, 2019, 10:36:20 PM »
The fact there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Michael Rolls

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72686
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #16 on: Apr 18, 2019, 08:05:02 AM »
The fact there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me.
The older I get, the better I was!

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #17 on: Apr 18, 2019, 10:06:15 PM »
I planted some bird seed but no birds came up, only some grass and weeds.
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #18 on: Apr 20, 2019, 10:13:08 PM »
Why is money called 'dough'?




Because we all 'knead' it.
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #19 on: Apr 22, 2019, 12:57:29 PM »
I don't like political jokes -


Too many of them get elected
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #20 on: Apr 27, 2019, 07:02:34 PM »
Due to an unfortunate spacing error while booking our holiday, I am now looking forward to a week on the Norfolk B roads.
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Alex22

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 19425
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #21 on: Apr 27, 2019, 07:08:14 PM »
 ;D ;D
.

Michael Rolls

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72686
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #22 on: Apr 28, 2019, 06:57:44 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D
Mike
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me.
The older I get, the better I was!

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #23 on: Apr 29, 2019, 03:03:39 PM »
A lady decides to take her two beloved pet monkeys to the taxidermists when they sadly pass away. When the taxidermist asks if she would like them mounted she replies "No just holding hands will be fine".
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Bee

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2883
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #24 on: Apr 29, 2019, 04:20:47 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D
The only way is up....

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #25 on: Apr 30, 2019, 06:06:59 PM »
It's raining cats and dogs -
How do you know?
I just stepped in a poodle!
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #26 on: May 01, 2019, 05:58:06 PM »
Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire. One says to the other, "I hate my mother-in-law."

The other says, "Then just eat the vegetables."
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2019, 08:52:22 PM »
My car sailed through its Mot today, the garage was flooded!
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Dorsetmike

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #28 on: May 02, 2019, 10:04:54 PM »
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder
I'm like my avatar, a local ruin

Bee

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2883
Re: Today's groan
« Reply #29 on: May 02, 2019, 10:43:53 PM »
All good.


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
The only way is up....