Author Topic: Fursday funnies....  (Read 354 times)

Floydian

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Fursday funnies....
« on: Nov 14, 2019, 02:54:44 PM »



I don't like to talk about my years working as a cinema usher.


I was in a dark place at the time....


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I was in town earlier and a homeless beggar came up to me with a trainer in his hand .


"Do you want to buy this size 13 nike trainer?" he asked.


"Sod off", i replied, "and take your biggish shoe with you..."


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I asked my grandad if i could take his dog for a walk yesterday.


"Yes but don't forget the poo bag" he said.


"Come on then grandma, you're coming too" i replied...


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Someone suggested getting a stripper for my wife's 60th birthday. What a fantastic idea!


She only has the paper to hang now....


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My wife finally announced today that she's leaving me for the dodgy indian guy that owns our local corner shop.


I don't know what she sees in Baldeep....


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Toilets in restaurants are dangerous. So many of my dates have gone to use them and just vanished....


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I'm the best DJ's assistant in the world. In fact i hold the record....


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For my first question on mastermind, John Humphreys asked:


"William the conquerer used many tactics to defeat Harold, what clever instruction did he give to his archers that finally won the battle?"


"Sorry John", i said, "i think there's been a mix up, i asked for questions on Norman Wisdom"....


 ;D
"Unbelievable, Jeff...."

zoony

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Re: Fursday funnies....
« Reply #1 on: Nov 15, 2019, 01:38:00 AM »
 ;D ;D  Love 'em..


Two fish in a tank. One looks at the other and says "What? I can't drive this thing!"
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Floydian

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Re: Fursday funnies....
« Reply #2 on: Nov 15, 2019, 11:18:55 AM »
Ha! Would you believe i had to explain the norman wisdom one to my mate?  ??? ???
They're never the same when you have to explain 'em are they, and especially by text...
"Unbelievable, Jeff...."

Ashy

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Re: Fursday funnies....
« Reply #3 on: Nov 15, 2019, 07:40:23 PM »
Do you think they had someone to carry the arrows? If the archers shot five a minute they would surely run out after five or six minutes?