How to Prepair For Horse Ownership.

[Raven]

1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off, stupid! Get off!"

2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll into a ball, and spring to your feet!

3. Learn to grab your cheque book out of your purse/pocket and write out a £200 check without even looking down

4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. .

5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, and smile as if you are really having fun.

6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales are fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million pound horse won you first place , I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place"

7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralysed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be', ( but add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."

9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience."

10. Marry Money

[Ashy]

I'd say whoever wrote that had had a bad experience with a horse.

[zoony]

From the little I've had to do with 'em, that seems pretty accurate..

[Michael Rolls]

😂😂😂😂😂

[crabbyob]

i will second wot Zoony wrote

[Ashy]

They have a big gap in their mouths between their front and back teeth.

[crabbyob]

they are one of the few animals that dont lap water
they suck it between their teeth

[Gazza56]

They also have no brakes

[klondike]

... and damned uncomfortable seats. I only test drove one once and had a sore arse for the rest of that holiday. Never again.

[crabbyob]

they have hair brakes.... allegedly

[Ashy]

They have a very rough tongue. Give you a nasty lick.

[klondike]

I was feeding one some vegetation or other over a gate when I was with either a grandchild or one of mine (I don't recall which) and the bugger bit one of my overcoat buttons and wouldn't let go. If I'd been on my own I might have poked it in the eye but could hardly do that with a youngster around. Mind you I wouldn't have fed it if I'd been on my own.


In the days when circuses had animals we were in the bit where they let you wander about amongst the ones less likely to have your leg off and my wife and young daughter were patting the head of either a pony or donkey and remarking how friendly it was. I smirked and said that it certainly seemed to like them as I took a photo. It's "equipment" was nearly dragging the floor. Sadly I've no idea what happened to the picture - it would have been a film camera back then so it may not have come out.

[Ashy]

Don't worry it will probably come out in the next 27 years.

[klondike]

In days of yore we used to put photos in albums and the albums in boxes so we could lose them and never see them again. Now we have computers to lose them for us far more efficiently.

[Ashy]

That's true, I bought the machine to digitise all my negatives and slides, and I put all the lot in boxes, then my wife has had a tidy up and I have no idea where she put them. In the bin probably.