Hello There
I wonder if anyone can help with this question please.
My elderly father has been staying with a relative in Lockdown for several weeks. The relative has had access to my father's debit card and has been spending on it, liberally. This relative has said that my father can stay permanently if he wishes. My father has his own Apartment to return to if he wishes and has expressed a wish to do this in several conversations on the telephone to me. Now this relative is saying my father wants to go and live with him, and Dad does not seem to be against it. This relative is asking for my father's house to be sold. My father suffers from senile dementia and his GP carried out memory tests etc in the past. My father had power of attorney arranged several years ago for him and my mother. I am one POA and his solicitors also hold power of attorney. This was done initially to prevent the relative from taking large sums of money from my parents (as was happening at the time - Dad could never say no to him). I am not totally adverse to my father living with this relative (although it's not ideal for me), my father thinks the sun shines out of him, even though he knows (knew when he was composmentis), that this relative was capable of bleeding him dry) - this is why Dad asked for me and my sister to handle their finances. In fact when my mother was ill and dying, I got nurses in to care for her, and was severely criticised for, (in this relative's words) 'throwing money at the situation'. If power of attorney had not been arranged prior to my mother being ill, this relative would have made sure Dad had NO money.
My question is: how much bed and board should I allocate to the situation? My father lives in a warm climate, and doesn't eat very much at all - he is not extravagant and leads a very simple life. I need to make sure my father's needs are met financially, which wouldn't be a problem, but I am mindful of this relative's intention to profit from the situation, as per his request that my father's apartment be sold. This is not necessary as my father has a good income from his pension. My father is entirely susceptible to being coerced in his poor mental state, and would agree to anything this man puts to him. I have evidence of him bullying my father in the past. My father could go back to his Apartment if he wanted to, and we would continue to care for him there. We have a certification to his mental state by his GPs, and Dad's solicitors would not let anything untoward happen to him. This is as far as things have got. Has anyone had experience of this sort of thing before? How much should Dad fairly pay for his bed and board?