Author Topic: so this is it  (Read 4246 times)

Cassandra

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #45 on: Jan 02, 2021, 02:21:01 PM »
Well today I've started to adjust as I've had to go out a couple of times so I told my wife I was off out & then went.

A few metres down the road I suddenly realised I didn't need my phone linked to the car as there would be no more urgent calls that needed answering while I was driving.

Then I suddenly realised that so long as was back for 18:00 hrs, to feed the furry ones, it didn't matter how long my two errands took me.

Just now, to cap it all, a guy turned up with some more equipment for my wife.

Exactly the same thing happened with me reference the phone and equipment deliveries. However I have shunned mobile phones ever since, always bad news. I remember the local Chemist unaware of her passing, delivering oxygen bottles three days after the event. A dear, kind man he burst into tears in front of me and came in to compose himself. Eleven years on after what have been her 60th birthday, I had Sun Life tracking me down to inherit the little pension she'd started at eighteen. I was totally unaware of it's existence. It pays out every December.

From time to time I meet people who I haven't seen for years and they ask how she is? I just look and shake my head. At first most think divorce, but when I explain she died aged 48 they are shocked. Time has now allowed me to address these increasingly rare occasions with philosophical empathy for such, to whom a perfectly reasonable question seems so incongruous upon reflection.
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Michael Rolls

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #46 on: Jan 02, 2021, 02:28:56 PM »
It's true that animals grieve, not just for companion animals , but for their owners too.   They don't understand why a person they loved has gone.  You've got a lot to cope with at the moment Phil, I hope you get a little comfort from your fur kids.  x
So true about animals. It took Fleur months of fruitlessly running to the passenger door of the car before she realised that Veronica was never again going to emerge from it. Actually, it was quite upsetting to observe her puzzlement
Mike
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Diasi

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #47 on: Jan 02, 2021, 03:09:06 PM »
Our furry ones got used to my wife being away from our house during to two months she was in hospital so they seem ok.

Anyway, my wife always liked to be an individualist, so to mark the ending of her life she died on both New Year's Eve & on New Year's Day.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

biglouis

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #48 on: Jan 02, 2021, 03:30:05 PM »
Quote
It took Fleur months of fruitlessly running to the passenger door of the car before she realised that Veronica was never again going to emerge from it. Actually, it was quite upsetting to observe her puzzlement


When my father passed his guide dog Vance used to wait every morning at the bottom of the stairs for him to come down. After a few weeks he stopped eating. Of course he could not understand why his beloved master was not there to take him out any more. One morning later my mother found him lying there, dead. The vet said there was nothing organically wrong with him. If ever an animal pined away with a broken heart it was he.
Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools.

Michael Rolls

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #49 on: Jan 02, 2021, 03:53:23 PM »
How sad
Mike
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Alex22

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #50 on: Jan 02, 2021, 04:58:47 PM »
I agree, how sad is that
.

Raven

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #51 on: Jan 02, 2021, 05:15:40 PM »
My last 2 old English Sheepies were always together, and when the elder one Maggie had to be put to sleep, the younger one who had been with Maggie since she was 8 weeks hid behind the sofa for weeks. She only came out to go to the garden to empty herself, and for food but hardly anything. She passed away ten months later, I'm sure it was from grief, I really lost both my girls that day as wee Pashka never was the same. Losing them both like that brought me to my knees.

Michael Rolls

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #52 on: Jan 02, 2021, 05:25:44 PM »
That’s one of the reasons I won’t have another dog. I couldn’t bear having to through the loss again in the unlikely event of me outliving her.
Mike
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me.
The older I get, the better I was!

Raven

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #53 on: Jan 02, 2021, 05:27:59 PM »
I no intention of getting another dog.......ever. I started swimming and doing other stuff, then one day eight months later Himself put Dageus into my arms.

Diasi

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #54 on: Jan 02, 2021, 05:34:27 PM »
That’s one of the reasons I won’t have another dog. I couldn’t bear having to through the loss again in the unlikely event of me outliving her.
Mike

One day I'll be in the same position as you were with Fleur because when our remaining Yorkie dies I won't have the support of my wife to help me get through it.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

Diasi

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #55 on: Jan 02, 2021, 05:44:33 PM »
Exactly the same thing happened with me reference the phone and equipment deliveries. However I have shunned mobile phones ever since, always bad news. I remember the local Chemist unaware of her passing, delivering oxygen bottles three days after the event. A dear, kind man he burst into tears in front of me and came in to compose himself. Eleven years on after what have been her 60th birthday, I had Sun Life tracking me down to inherit the little pension she'd started at eighteen. I was totally unaware of it's existence. It pays out every December.

From time to time I meet people who I haven't seen for years and they ask how she is? I just look and shake my head. At first most think divorce, but when I explain she died aged 48 they are shocked. Time has now allowed me to address these increasingly rare occasions with philosophical empathy for such, to whom a perfectly reasonable question seems so incongruous upon reflection.

I was exactly the same with the bloke who came today, he looked mortified (no pun intended, well maybe just a bit) & was apologising profusely so I told him that he wasn't to know & it hadn't upset me.

Anyway I've made a start on what has to be done by informing our bank so they can freeze the accounts which are in wife's sole name.

I had to state her date of death & had it not been for the district nurse, who came today to collect their equipment, I would have put the 31st December 2020 which is when she died at 23:32 hrs, but because the two nurses who certified her death didn't do it until 01:00 hrs on the 1st January 2021, I had to put their date.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)

biglouis

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Re: so this is it
« Reply #56 on: Jan 04, 2021, 05:00:22 PM »
I was once told by a thoughtless workmate "Dont you think that if you had a pet it would give you someone to think about other than yourself?" The implication that NOT having a pet was selfish.

Pets are a commitment and its unfair to take that on unless you can look after them properly. When I look at my nephew's lovely cat I sometimes think I would like one. We take these creatures into our homes for our pleasure and amusement. But they are a lot of work and you have to base your life around their requirements.
Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools.

Michael Rolls

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #57 on: Jan 04, 2021, 05:53:35 PM »
One day I'll be in the same position as you were with Fleur because when our remaining Yorkie dies I won't have the support of my wife to help me get through it.
v
Phil.
My sentiments exactly
Mike
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me.
The older I get, the better I was!

Diasi

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Re: So This Is It
« Reply #58 on: Jan 04, 2021, 06:49:24 PM »

I had to state her date of death & had it not been for the district nurse, who came today to collect their equipment, I would have put the 31st December 2020 which is when she died at 23:32 hrs, but because the two nurses who certified her death didn't do it until 01:00 hrs on the 1st January 2021, I had to put their date.

UPDATE:

Because the Marie Curie nurse entered my wife's time of death as 23:32 hrs on the 31st December 2020 on the verification form, it now appears that is now the date that will go on her Death Certificate.
Make every day count, each day is precious.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal".  (Cassandra)