Author Topic: roll models.  (Read 578 times)

Alfred

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roll models.
« on: Jan 21, 2021, 08:48:21 AM »
For many, many, years as children grew up, many not all, had a roll model to copy, a father figure or mother figure to learn from, ready for when they became adults,


many not all boys tended to copy dad, and girls did like wise from mums,


in todays modern world , do children in general have a role model to learn from and as were in a digital age are roll models going out of favour,


Q;  did you model your self on your parents, remembering what they told you and how to learn how to do things around the home in general, 

Raven

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #1 on: Jan 21, 2021, 11:46:52 AM »
No I was at war with my parents by the time I was a teenager, they were so strict. They made the mistake (IMO) of not moving with the times and tried to bring us 4 up as they were brought up in the 1920s. It was the 60s and it was never going to work, we all left home as soon as we were able to. I didn't have a role model, I found life was as I made it..

Jacqueline

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #2 on: Jan 21, 2021, 12:09:45 PM »
Same as Raven, parents and school very strict, I thought I knew it all and I didn't.  Looking back there was a reason for their strictness to save you from yourself.  Letting your kids do their own thing dosen't work.

As for role models,  footballers, pop stars, minor celebrities, trash on TV, who would want to be like any of them, (except for their money).  Morals of ally cats most of them, anything goes but kids seem to look up to them.  Even Marcus Rashford in my opinion promotes free school meals and living off the State. As for politicians, pass!

My son looked up to my father they had a great relationship, as has his own son with his maternal grandfather.  Good ordinary hard working people they should be the real role models for kids.

sparky

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #3 on: Jan 21, 2021, 12:20:53 PM »
Parenting is not easy, its difficult to move from the standards and methods they themselves had when young, and then move with the times, on the one hand being too strict is not good, but as we see all to often nowadays allowing to much freedom,  so many become little evil monsters.

biglouis

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #4 on: Jan 21, 2021, 01:16:53 PM »
The reason I have no children is because my parents were both physically and psychologically abusive to me. At that time it was quite common for kids to be given the odd slap on the legs when they whinged and pouted so perhaps mine thought they were doing no wrong. My sister was never touched.

My mother was alienated from her family due to an inappropriate marriage.

My role model was my grandmother and she was the person I went to for help and advice when I had a problem. She bought me school uniform when my mother sent me with cardboard in my shoes and scruffy old skirts from the second hand market. It was she who went with me to my first interview (civil service) and advised me what preparation to make beforehand.

The best piece of advice she gave me was "You need to start moving away from that family of yours into the class you should have been born into. To do that you need your own place and a good salary to afford it."

It was she who lent me the money to furnish my first flat.

If my grandmothers advice sounds a mite snobbish this was the early 1960s when she said it and social class was still very much in evidence.

She was still a very unsentimental and pragmatic woman with a powerful personality and a sharp tongue. I am proud to take after her in many ways.
Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools.

Scrumpy

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #5 on: Jan 21, 2021, 01:28:43 PM »



 I didn't have a role model.. I know at one time I wanted to be a film star.. and later a pop singer.. We just wanted a nice house .. handsome husband and a couple of children.. I got two of them... The children and the house..!!
I just wanted to get out there and see what was going on.. In my youth we didn't travel abroad too much.. We went into London and down to Brighton..
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Traveller

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #6 on: Jan 21, 2021, 01:53:01 PM »
I could have written exactly the same as Raven.  My parents were strict and inflexible, totally unable to see anyone else's point of view or construct a logical argument.   At best, I lived in a sort of uneasy truce with them.

My father was unambitious and I think that mother wanted to enjoy a sort of vicarious success through her offspring.  It was all about how our actions would reflect on HER.  In later years, I realised that under her hard shell, she was very insecure.  No doubt she dearly loved my father, but maybe felt that things could have been better.  She said that if he had moved to Glasgow,  instead of her going with him, things might have been different.  I said "Yes, mother - I'd have been a Weegie".  Role models - NO.  I never wanted to be like them, and in most respects I wasn't.

As Philip Larkin put it :

They f*** you up, your mum and dad
they may not meant to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you.

You'll have had your tea.

sparky

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #7 on: Jan 21, 2021, 02:19:45 PM »
The main thing my father was very strict on was waste, but that was because of his fear of having no money for food or rent, particularly gas and electricity, you dare not leave a light on in a room you were leaving, My mother was far more easy going she would give you her last penny, the only time she laid down the law on  me,  was when she found a packet of Durex that I had bought, as  she was emptying the pockets before washing, nowadays, in our so called more enlightened attitudes she would have been saying, good to see you are taking precautions,,,,,,,, Mind you I was only 7 at the time.  :P :P :P

biglouis

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #8 on: Jan 22, 2021, 12:33:19 AM »
You must have been an early starter!
Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools.

zoony

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #9 on: Jan 22, 2021, 01:25:21 AM »
I've been wracking what brain is left but I can't honestly come up with a role model I ever aspired to..I remember fleeting ones but they changed as I grew.. No point aspiring to be Just William when you're 25.. There were singer-songwriters I admired and humourists but none I'd think of as a role model.. Maybe that's where it all went wrong!  :'( :'( ;D
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Michael Rolls

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #10 on: Jan 22, 2021, 02:24:16 AM »
Can’t say I ever had a role model. I just, like Topsy, ‘sort of growed’
Mike
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GrannyMac

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #11 on: Jan 22, 2021, 07:50:54 AM »

My late mother was and is still my role model.  Not when I was young, but certainly in later life.

My mum was widowed in her fifties, I was 17 when my father died. She hadn't worked since they got married in the 1930s, the norm then.  The mistake my parents made was not buying their home, as my dad's superannuation was all her inheritance, and a widow's pension wasn't much. She found a job cleaning for a retired solicitor and his wife, five minutes from home.  My dad had been a jute mill manager, so it was a bit of a step down. She didn't complain, just got on with it, and eventually became their housekeeper. The wife died, and mum looked after the old chap.  She was 70 when he passed away, and she retired.

I left Scotland to come to England when my daughter was a baby, in the hope of career opportunities for my husband.   My mum never complained, or tried to stand in our way, but loved coming to visit.   It was hard when her health started failing, I went home when I could, but I had a full time job and two kids. Mum was adamant she wasn't moving from the flat she lived in since she married my dad, but she eventually had to move into residential care, and finally a nursing home.  I'm glad I was with her when she died, in her late 80s.  She's my role model because she 'got on with it'. She could have moaned about her life as a widow for over 30 years, but she just dealt with it. Stoic, is how I'd describe her, and my gran. I hope I'd do as well if I needed to.
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Michael Rolls

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #12 on: Jan 22, 2021, 07:58:38 AM »
Sounds a grand lady
Mike
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GrannyMac

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #13 on: Jan 22, 2021, 12:33:36 PM »
She was Mike.  She was also a bowling champion, flat green and indoor.  In the summer I'd quite often go to the green after school if there was a match on, for sandwiches and home baked cakes.
Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.

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Michael Rolls

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Re: roll models.
« Reply #14 on: Jan 22, 2021, 12:43:29 PM »
Not a game I have ever played, but when I worked at Guildford there was a keen club which seemed to play every day. Sometimes, if the whether was nice, I would have a quick bite to eat for lunch and spend 20-30 minutes watching the bowls. I remember on one occasion watching two pairs playing - one pair was clearly husband and wife, and hubby was having an off day - not pretty!
Mike
Thank you for the days, the days you gave me.
The older I get, the better I was!