Author Topic: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.  (Read 1305 times)

zoony

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Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« on: Nov 08, 2015, 09:08:59 PM »





                                           


                                                   NURI.


              He felt warm in her arms, breath gentle, hair tousled. She could feel each separate place that their bodies touched and she felt secure and happy listening to the steady downpour and knowing her father would be sitting in his bee-hive-like little stone casetina in the corner of the field waiting for the rain to finish. It was what he always did. She imagined him sitting, thinking. He was a good thinker, her Papa, always waiting until he knew he was right or not, or had solved the problem or couldn't. That was Papa.
              Jesus stirred beside her and snuffled in his drowse as she reached down between them and gently scratched him with a fingernail. His breathing quieted and she knew he was awake but he liked to play the game. He twitched against her thigh and she rolled on top of him.
               They were totally absorbed in each other when the hailstorm hit and didn't notice or acknowledge the change in sound or tempo until they lay panting in each others arms and what had seemed a fitting crescendo took on another significance. She stilled, listening. "My God." She whispered "Oh my God."
               He didn't hear her words but felt her jaw move against his cheek. Only then did the noise impinge on his saturated senses. Feeling her leave the bed, he turned and watched her pad, naked, to the shuttered window, heave on the canvas shutter sash and open wide the glass doors to the small balcony. Quickly he grabbed their robes from where they lay on the cold marble floor and went to her.
                The hail was biblical, falling vertically as it smashed into the earth. The shaded, sheltered vegetable garden below was being ravaged by a million icy teeth and he held her close and trembling as they watched young green leaves that had been so full of sun and energy, beaten to death. There were four hutches, each with two fat rabbits inside, that were taking a pounding from the hail that was rebounding high from their small wooden roofs only to fall back again and settle in an icy layer. He wrapped her from behind and held her as they both watched the destruction. They knew what it meant and no words were needed.
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

xetog

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #1 on: Nov 09, 2015, 03:03:10 PM »
Nicely written zoony, clearly you like to write from personal experience, but I do not find myself able to do this and write from a 'what if' perspective.  I have another one I am working on and hope to have it ready for the end of the week.
Mike
If you want to control peoples thoughts, first control their words.

zoony

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #2 on: Nov 09, 2015, 03:14:20 PM »
To a certain extent you're right Mike, though only the storm is factual. I'd like to be able to write from another angle but my imagination seems to balk. I really liked the end of your story. Not telegraphed at all. Look forward to reading the next one.
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

Rita Postlethwaite

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #3 on: Nov 11, 2015, 07:56:11 PM »
Very nice, Zoony, though I`m not too sur about "scratching Jesus" with her finger nail!  :D :-*
Hope you realise that it is just a joke.  :-* :-*
Never look down on anyone, unless it is to offer your hand to help them up.

zoony

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #4 on: Nov 11, 2015, 08:25:43 PM »
Heh Heh..Of course I do. I had to Bowdlerize that scene. Afraid of shocking the PF readers. ;D
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

zoony

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #5 on: Nov 12, 2015, 01:46:35 AM »
..I'm trying to do it...
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.

zoony

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Re: Stories From L'Arbos: One Day In April. Chapter two.
« Reply #6 on: Nov 12, 2015, 01:49:16 AM »
..Then this one..
"Listen to the wind, it cleans the mind."

"Never use money to measure wealth, son"

                                           cowboy wisdom.