I hope any of my memories from my past do not offend anyone.
I am putting them on here to show that even old biddies like myself have said and done daft things in their lives that can be regarded as naughty BUT not intended as such.
When I look back over life I seemed to be fated to have embarrassing moments at weddings.
Even my own wedding was farcical.
Having said that both incidents helped to break the ice with folks I had never met although as I said made me VERY self conscious because what I said without thinking could be taken in a different way, although I have had many a laugh about them over the years.
The first incident happened well before mobile phones were thought of and we were attending a reception being held in the Rolls Royce canteen.
After the speeches and wishing the bride and groom well plus the buffet, the evening entertainment started with a nice dance trio.
During the evening I wanted to phone my son and his wife to find out if they had arrived home safely after their holiday.
No mobiles then and one still had to put coins in the public telephone to make a call.
I asked where the phone was and was directed rather vaguely outside the main door to the left.
As I went out of the main hall I turned to the left and saw this door and just assumed it was THE one without really looking at it while at the same time I was scrabbling in my purse to get some change out for the phone.
I pushed it open into a tiny place big enough to turn round to face another door where I thought the phone would be situated.
I pushed it open to reveal about six blokes standing there relieving themselves over some sort of basins.
I was SO embarrassed I was rooted to the spot and burbled that I was SO sorry but I was looking for the phone.
I scrabbled for the door handle to get out quickly but not before I noticed one chap in a white suit as he half turned who was shaking himself vigorously saying "Would you like to make a trunk call."
Boy oh Boy! Did I feel a prize chump.
My family thought it was hilarious when I told them. More so when the chap in the white suit came and asked me to dance.
Hubby and family were in stitches when the chappie said "I wont take her near any phones."
Just for the record the blasted phone was on the right as one came out of the door NOT the left.
I had been given the wrong information.
.....................................
My second really stupid remark was made when shaking hands with the vicar at another posh wedding we had been invited to as we piled out of the church.
I had lace gloves on and suddenly got an itch right in the middle of my right hand just as I was going to shake hands.
I pulled my hand away quickly to scratch it and said to the vicar "I am so sorry I have had an itching prick at the wrong moment."
The chap next to me burst out laughing while I was babbling that I meant to say I had a "pricking itch".
Meanwhile the vicar turned to the alter and crossed himself.
Boy oh Boy!!!!!! Was I glad to get out of there.
