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Author Topic: Bad Gags  (Read 568 times)

Judd

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Bad Gags
« on: Mar 25, 2024, 12:21:55 AM »
Just found out the name of our local Uber driver - he's Russian and is called Pikup Andropov

There's a woman selling batteries at our local kiddies play ground - she sells C-cells by the seesaw
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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

Flying bomb

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #1 on: Mar 25, 2024, 07:58:37 AM »
Does the AA breakdown man install AA batteries?
If he's small he installs AAA batteries.
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If the Buck stops here how can the Doe go all the way ?

www.retinascope.co.uk
Albert.

richmond62

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #2 on: Mar 26, 2024, 02:02:07 PM »
Reminds me of the rude Russian (as if there are not several): Vadoncha Bukaroff.


And the Welshman who has fathered 57 kids son far: Moronway!
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Judd

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #3 on: Mar 30, 2024, 08:23:28 PM »
I thought I had found a dinosaur leg while digging in my back garden, but found out it was a fossil arm.
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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

Judd

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #4 on: Apr 03, 2024, 11:40:24 PM »
Ultravox bass player dies aged 71.


This means nothing to me.
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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

richmond62

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #5 on: Apr 05, 2024, 09:11:51 AM »
Why are you never hungry at the seaside?


Because of the chip butties that are there.  :clapping:
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1955vintage

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #6 on: Apr 05, 2024, 02:07:26 PM »
What is the name of the cross channel swimmer with no arms or legs?


Bob.


What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?


Eileen.
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Judd

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #7 on: Apr 07, 2024, 07:40:30 PM »
The wife arrived back from her driving test.
The husband asked, "how did you get on?"
"Not good," the wife replied. "He failed me."
"Oh dear!, It can't be that bad; what did he pull you up on?"
"A rope," she replied. "The car's still in the river."
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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

Judd

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #8 on: Apr 12, 2024, 07:49:52 PM »
Little lad came home from school and said "dad I've failed biology at school".

Came the reply, "I'm your mum".
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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

Alex22

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #9 on: Apr 12, 2024, 08:11:41 PM »
Quote from: Judd on Apr 07, 2024, 07:40:30 PM
The wife arrived back from her driving test.
The husband asked, "how did you get on?"
"Not good," the wife replied. "He failed me."
"Oh dear!, It can't be that bad; what did he pull you up on?"
"A rope," she replied. "The car's still in the river."


😄😄😄
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Mups

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #10 on: Apr 12, 2024, 11:36:17 PM »
Quote from: Judd on Apr 12, 2024, 07:49:52 PM
Little lad came home from school and said "dad I've failed biology at school".

Came the reply, "I'm your mum".

 :sarcastic:
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richmond62

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #11 on: Apr 13, 2024, 08:31:40 AM »
That last joke will get you pelted with pen*s-implants by the trans brigade.  :dance1:
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Harold

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #12 on: Jun 28, 2024, 06:12:35 PM »
 I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels.  

   
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.  

   

   
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I am what I am and I change for nobody. Take me as you find me. I'm a pretty straight shooter

Judd

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #13 on: Jun 28, 2024, 09:39:48 PM »
I've finally come to accept I'm dyslexic, and I'll always be dyslexic... A Leotard can't change its spots.


I asked the Geordie barber for a perm. He said, "I wandered lernly as a clood....."






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A man with one watch is always certain of the time. A man with two watches can never be sure.

Dextrous63

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Re: Bad Gags
« Reply #14 on: Jun 28, 2024, 11:46:00 PM »
😬😬😬😬😬
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